In Memory of Eltaj Zeynalov

Eltaj Zeynalov, 2015 (Baku, Azerbaijan)

Blind
                                                                     To Eltaj Zeynalov (1986-2025)
​
We were blind to you, though we believed ourselves to be sighted.
Only the Caspian Sea truly saw you. Every morning and evening,
as you walked down the crooked streets of Bayıl, though it is mute and has no eyes.
How short-sighted we were. We could see the great lake, yet not a single one of the seas inside your soul. We never heard the storms that tore you apart from within, and we dismissed their thunder.
Barriers rose everywhere in front of you, standing like colossi. You passed through them, with pain in your left leg, limping, sometimes breathless, yet still you managed, as if someone were calling you forward.
You showed the world your middle finger,
while a pale smile lay on your lips.
But why did you choose to stand against life, my friend, and not against death?
You spoke gently with the wind,
argued with the falseness in people,
And you yourself stood upright, the last leaf
on the trees along the seaside promenade.
Then you tore free, flew off and fell into the sea quietly, like a tired bird.
Were you waiting for winter, that deceptive handmaiden of death, or did she descend too soon? And you - toward whom were you hurrying, that you could not wait for us?
Now guilt weighs heavily.
We were near and far at the same time.
Our arms had not grown long enough to embrace you, like that black statue in front of the Yarat centre we used to laugh at…
And so it happened, my friend,
It was not us, but the sea that held you first, overtook us,
And after you, only the waves remained, and the silence that hurts more than they do.
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Eltaj's webpage: https://eltajzeynalov.com/